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My Dorian Gray* Moment

One of my biggest mistakes and one that had unimaginable unintended consequences was my innocent purchase of one of those bathroom mirrors from Bed Bath and Beyond - you know the kind with the big magnifying glass on one side? I was excited that I would finally be able to catch the goat whatsis that seem to sprout willy-nilly from very odd places on my face. And maybe I could really see that funny dry spot now and finally rule out a terribly wrong something and just put Burt's Bee's on it before I went to bed. And, now I could really see that long, long, long eyebrow hair threatening to grow over into my pupil. Happily, I asked the handyman to install it, and the moment he left, I switched to the magnifying side, turned the light on, looked at myself and almost fainted.

My Dorian Gray Moment arrived the second I REALLY looked into the magnifying glass and instead of seeing what I thought I looked like, I saw, like Dorian Gray, what I REALLY looked like. I was horrified. Granted, I am getting older and there is some sagging to be expected including more laugh lines, abundant crinkles and lip thingies. But, dear God, does it really have to be this bad?

Let's start with the eyelids: I had no idea I looked like a sleepy lizard. Under the eyes? What's all that swelling and darkness? Or how about that loose skin under my chin? I used my index finger to play with it for awhile just to make sure it really did move like that. Then peering some more into Satan's electron microscope mirror I saw that I needed some serious dermabrasion around the mouth and several ampules of Botox between the eyebrows, plus some very expensive treatments that probably aren't even invented yet.

I got hold of myself finally and decided that instead of many thousands of dollars spent with a skin doctor and the risk of unnecessary (that's debatable now) surgery, I would first try other things. In an existential panic, I drove from my mountain home all the way to Sephora in the 29th Street Mall and stumbled upon a nice older customer service rep named Dee who said drolly, "It was a big mistake to buy that mirror. I never would. "And I cleverly retorted, "Well, that's like tying the rope to the tent after the camel runs away." And we had a big oldster laugh together.

She led me to the many products that I really, really needed and $300 later I walked out of Sephora with things like face firming activator, cleanser, toner and baggy eye treatment, each item very expensive, each item filled with ingredients I can't pronounce and just what I tell everyone not to do.

In the course of the anxious race around the store, I said, "I think I need an eyebrow pencil." Dee looked at me indulgently over her cheater glasses, and said "We don't use pencil anymore. We use powder." O.K. Whatever. So in addition to the all the chemicals-in-a-bottle, I came home with some ash blond eyebrow "powder" and an expensive brush probably made from the eyelashes of an endangered species with which to carefully dust the powder onto my eyebrows. I stamped my little foot and said no at the suggestion of mascara.

There you have it. Aging skin. What to do, what to do? A few years ago, I might have just blown you off and said indulgently, "Oh, just get yourself a good "natural" skin care, product like Burt's or Hauschka or Weleda at Whole Foods." But there comes a time, I think, when we older ladies need a bit more help and that's the point I came to with that damn magnifying mirror. (Better yet, just don't get one of those mirrors and stick obliviously with the Burt's.)

I comfort myself however and give myself a pat on the back for the good things I do for my skin and I suppose I could look worse. A healthy life style is essential for good skin, a good complexion and shiny healthy eyes. Your outside can quite literally mirror your insides in this regard.

There are basically six organs which rule the skin and they are liver, kidneys, adrenals, thyroid, large intestine and small intestine. Then, although not really an organ, there's the lymph which is also very important. Liver and kidneys filter out impurities and can easily become overtaxed. The adrenal glands make many of our healthy hormones as does the thyroid gland. And the above four organs are dependent on the condition of your small intestines and your colon. If there is incomplete digestion or waste back up, your skin and complexion will show that.

Next time I will talk a bit about what you can put into and keep out of your body to help your skin. Here's a hint and something you can get on right away: R lipoic acid. Excellent for the skin and many other things, too.

I want to thank all of you for trusting me with your health care this past year. There is never a moment when I don't deeply appreciate your trust in me and I take my responsibilities to you quite seriously. May we all be well in 2010. And keep letting me know how I can assist you in this.

*Dorian Gray was a character in a book of the same name by Oscar Wilde. Dorian Gray was a beautiful young man who sold his soul to remain beautiful forever despite a life of evil and debauchery. A portrait painted of him in later life, however, showed how he had really aged (not pretty) and after seeing it, he attempted to destroy the canvas by slashing at it with a knife. His servants came into the room at the sound of the ruckus and found his portrait now portraying a beautiful young man while on the floor lay an old man, wrinkled and disfigured with a knife plunged into his heart.

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