Archived News of the Week

What Was It All About, Jimmy?

I was sad about James Gandolfini, dying so young with a new baby daughter left behind. I was thinking about all that this morning after I heard the news and how his early heart attack took him out, just like that, at age 51. It was a head shaking "tsk-tsk" for me even though when you look at him with a gimlet eye, it's not surprising: His appearance and alleged lifestyle suggested poster boy for early heart attack: Barrel chest, big stomach, overweight, allegedly a very intense person and a drug abuser.

There you go. How can you possibly beat those odds? He would be my recommendation of what you should look at as an example of what NOT to do to avoid heart disease. How easy it would have been for him to change the course of his life with a few minor tweaks here and there (lose weight, take COQ 10) and maybe a couple of major overhauls (intense psychotherapy, huge detox). He might have even lived to throw an expensive wedding for his daughter. I am, of course, speaking in the ideal, best of all possible worlds where we have managed all of our cravings, all but buttoned up our egos and perhaps dropped our bodies and become as awakened as Ramana Maharshi or Jesus. But let's take a look at that Best World I am talking about. Let's just pretend and see how we could avoid doing a Gandolfini and how maybe we can live a long and fulfilling life of great vigor and joy.

(You know, your body really has to feel reasonably good to have a joyful life, otherwise you are dealing constantly with discomfort and pain and uncomfortable movement and fatigue. Unless you can rise above all of this i.e. the mass density and inflexibility of the human body, and not many of us can, it's really hard to milk the joy out of life.)

First of all, a person needs to really, really want to change his or her life and that is always such a personal decision and one that may take a bit of God's grace. But why don't we start with a close and hard look in the mirror - naked. That might turn something around for some people. Others not so much.

Or, how about getting a piece of paper and a pen and writing down the pros and cons of your life? And answer some questions as these pros and cons appear. How is it, i.e. this life of yours, working for you? Are you happy in your body? In your life? Are you reasonably content? What's keeping you from your heart's desire? What is your heart's desire? How are you working towards getting that? How do you sabotage yourself? Are you proud of yourself? Are you getting the love you want? Are you giving love? Do you feel shame? About what? Just get curious with yourself and open up a dialogue.

Secondly, find a person like me. Do what I tell you to do, follow my directions and trust my almost 30 years of doing this. I would clean you up, cheer you on and be your health coach in the year that it would take you to steer the Titanic away from the iceberg. Yeah, a year - it takes that long sometimes. We would discuss the health of your gut, your mind, your willingness to change your bad habits, your food sensitivities and your exercise habits. I would have you start by walking, a half hour a day, swallowing designated pills tailored just for you, changing the way you eat, the way you think. I would suggest that you meditate regularly. And that's just the beginning.

We would do some emotional work around things that needed to be changed - like past behaviors, childhood stuff. I use an emotional release technique called Neuro-Emotional Technique, or NET and it is quite powerful. We would also check and make sure that your psychological and psychic energetics support your wellness and will encourage the changes you are making. I would also suggest a movement therapy, like Qi Gong, Pilates, Tai Chi or Yoga.

An epiphany of some sort is usually needed to change any addictive behavior such as eating too much or not enough, drug abuse, not only the harder more serious stuff, but sugar and cigarettes, too, so I might even suggest a 12-Step program. After the awakening, the epiphany, the realization, God's grace tapping you on the shoulder, the "come to Jesus" talk with yourself or whatever you want to call it - it's much easier for enlightened action to occur. I have found that the 12-Step programs are often good for this.

You don't just have to be an addict to have a lot of trouble in effecting even minor changes in your life. I know this one well and see it all the time in myself and others. "What? Give up my morning tea? Give up wheat? Have dinner before 9? Meditate? I know I should, but I CAN'T DO IT! What?" It's so much easier to stay where you are on the comfy deck of the Spaceship Enterprise than to "Beam me up, Scotty", especially if in some strange and neurotic way, you are actually getting something - usually deep and unknown and unfriendly - from being overweight, addicted, depressed or just not feeling well. But the bottom line to all of this tenacious holding on to addictions usually has to do with our fears about not surviving change and it's very old in us and possibly pre-verbal. We examine those things, too.

We are such complex creatures. We think we want this and that, but in the midst of our wanting this and that, we are trying very hard not to get the thises and thats that we are wanting. It's all very perplexing, but change is doable. You just have to want it and then you have to make that phone call to start that journey. And, do it now, not later, or you may end up like Tony Soprano.

No statement or content in this web site shall be construed as offering diagnosis, cure, mitigation or prevention of any disease. Anyone having questions regarding the content of this site should contact their own health care provider for verification.